Perfectionism And Writing: The Oil And Water Of Writing Success

For many years, I prided myself on my perfectionist tendencies. "What's wrong with wanting to be perfect?" I'd ask. Isn't "perfect" a wonderful word, a positive one? Don't people remember gymnast Nadia Comaneci for her perfect ten? Why settle for B's when you can get A's, for "good" when you could be "best"?

And that perfectionism served me in many ways. I did very well in
school. Loved reading because I was so good at it, and writing
because of the grades and accolades I received from my English
teachers and friends. I used my drive to be perfect as a compass for where I wanted my life to go; if I was good at something (and
received praise for it), I stuck with it. If not, I dropped it like the proverbial hot potato.

Take art. From the time I could hold a crayon, I loved to draw.
Although I had no formal art education, I experimented with
watercolor, chalk, ink, charcoal and acrylic paints from childhood through adolescence. My mother didn't just put my pictures on the refrigerator--she framed some of them. I believed I was destined to design greeting cards and illustrate children's books...until tenth grade, when I took art from a teacher who gave me a C for the course. I never took art in school again, nor did I pursue a career as a commercial artist.

Writing, on the other hand, consistently brought me high grades,
praise, and hence more satisfaction, than any other activity, skill or subject. So, long before I graduated from high school, I had my mind set on being a writer.

But little did I know that my perfectionism would also turn out to be the biggest roadblock to my writing dream for many years. Far from being a "wonderful" or "positive" character trait, it held me back, taunted me, scolded me, filled me with guilt, scoffed at my burning desire to be a writer. Without teachers to constantly stroke my ego and provide me with the encouragement I so needed, I floundered and procrastinated, struggled and avoided.

It took a long time for me to realize the real reason I wasn't
writing. I blamed it on lack of discipline, or lack of time, or
occasionally came to the conclusion that maybe I just wasn't meant to be a writer. Then I would stumble across an old story or essay I'd written, recognize the skill and talent there, recall the joy and fulfillment I'd found in the writing process, and give writing for publication another go.

Yet nothing was ever perfect enough to submit. Or, on those rare
occasions when I did send a story or a query for consideration, I saw each rejection as a confirmation that I just wasn't good enough. Months, sometimes years, would go by before I tried again.

Can you see yourself in these words? Does your own perfectionism
block you, freeze you, prevent you from submitting your work or your ideas?

Believe me when I say this--perfectionism is *not* a writer's friend. If I had continued to succumb to this tendency, I would never have known the joy and satisfaction of getting articles published, would never have started my newsletter for writers, or built my Web site. If you are a perfectionist, too, and allow this trait to run your life, neither will you.

Because perfectionism is a syndrome rooted in a childhood desire to please and be noticed, there are no quick fixes or easy answers for overcoming it. Moreover, even if you do conquer it in order to complete one project, it'll rear its ugly head to thwart others--I have numerous half-finished projects that attest to that. However, I also have a few pointers that may help you kick your perfectionist habit, or at least come to terms with it again and again:

1. Expose the beast through your writing--write about your
perfectionism in your journal, or write an essay about your
experiences with it. How has it impeded your life in the past,
stopped you from pursuing things you've loved? Where did this
tendency come from, how did it evolve? Are you willing to allow this one trait to continue to sap the passion and enthusiasm out of your life?

2. Read about perfectionism and how to conquer or work with it. Two books I recommend are _Never Good Enough: How to Use Perfectionism to Your Advantage Without Letting it Ruin Your Life_ by Monica Ramirez Basco (http://tinyurl.com/2gc9c), and _If You Can Talk, You Can Write_ by Joel Saltzman (http://tinyurl.com/2tjje).

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3. Catch yourself thinking that either you or your work needs to
be "the best," and instead aim simply to do "_your_ best." Strive
not for perfection, but for the best you can do. Then submit your
best work, and move on to the next project without looking back.
Over time, sending your "imperfect" work out and concentrating on the next book, story or article will become easier and easier--and your writing will get better and better.

4. Constantly remind yourself why you want to write in the first
place. Try writing just for the sheer joy of it, or to reach out to a certain type of person or audience, or to capture an idea, emotion, belief, memory, character or scene.

5. If you feel hopelessly stalled and need feedback and encouragement to get writing again, take a writing workshop. You'll find some excellent online workshops at
http://writesuccess.com/workshops_for_writers.htm .

Perfectionism and writing, like oil and water, don't mix--the first will do anything to stymie the second, make you doubt your own talent, and often suck your writing enthusiasm and energy bone dry. Give yourself permission to be imperfect, to experiment with and explore and practice your writing craft, to send your best efforts out for consideration. You'll find the very act of trying much more satisfying and rewarding than the need to be perfect.